An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85 year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:

"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but
nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. "Then I asked my wife
for help.
She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried
with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. "We
even called
up Earleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands,
then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still
nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied,! "Yep. And no matter what we tried we still couldn't
get the jar open!"